sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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