she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
