im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
