also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
