I am puke
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
