i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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