you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
