with your own penis?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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