put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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