If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
