Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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