Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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