best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
