Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
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