I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
