there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
