i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
