Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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