why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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