She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
