You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
