I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
