Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
