On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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