He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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