I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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