You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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