Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
