i permit you to call me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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