Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
