Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize