Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
