how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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