marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize