3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
