he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
