she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
