Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
