I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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