took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
