its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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