it hurts more in the daytime
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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