Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
