there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have aggressive nipples.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
