We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
