Jerry, you need to find god
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
