I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize