if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
