Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize