I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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