how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
