I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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