If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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