Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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