I'm eating all of the evidence.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
