Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
