He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
