but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
