so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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