I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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