I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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